Orange Is The New Black season 6, episode 2 recap: ‘Sh*tstorm Coming’

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Now, now the inmates aren’t the only characters in Orange Is The New Black–remember all the disgruntled employees?

Orange Is The New Black is a show focused on the inmates, but we can’t forget all the MCC employees that were a part of the prison riot torture last season. In the second episode of season six, we take a step outside the walls of the prison and see what everyone has been up to.

Caputo is really not doing great and is in useless shambles while he tries to do something with his time off on paid suspension. He’s engrossed in porn on his phone, while Columbo plays in the background on TV, and like an old, grumpy man, he yells at his neighbor to stop making noise.

It isn’t until he meets up with Healy that he realizes he needs to invest in self-care, just as Healy has. Screw Litchfield! Caputo has an all-out “treat yoself” day inclusive of a massage, hitting up the gym, and getting a snazzy haircut and beard trim. He’s looking and feeling good which means its time to hit up Fig for a date.

Credit: Netflix

Unfortunately, Fig is a horrible human and shows up for the dinner date assuming it was code for sex. And yes, they do have sex, but in the middle of the rough pleasuring, she lets it spill that she is now interim warden, and has taken over his job. Caputo not happy, not at all. He stops mid-sex and makes a call demanding to get his job back.

And then we transition into what Donuts and Dixon have been up to since the riot, which appears to be some sort of road trip. However, Donuts has hidden Pennsatucky in the trunk of the car unbeknownst to Dixon who refuses to leave Donuts alone. Eventually, Pennsatucky tires of being stuck in the trunk (seriously, not sure how she was breathing in there), and just waltzes into their hotel room and goes to sleep.

For a moment, we’re not entirely what Dixon will do but his response is hilariously classic. He doesn’t want to be the single rider when they go to Hershey Park together, and they have to rotate. Alright, maybe this will work?

Credit: Netflix

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We still have no idea where Alex is, and the FBI is beginning to dwindle down who is being punished for what. It appears no one gets to go back to the good ‘ol days of Orange Is The New Black minimum security unless they had absolutely nothing to do with the riot, which in that case, they’re being sent to Ohio.

Life sentences will be handed out to two inmates, while ten years will be added to the riot leaders’ time. It’s actually pretty impressive and brutal to see the game Mendoza plays in this episode by pinpointing Ruiz as one of the larger culprits of the riot. Thanks to some scheming and convincing Blanca, she gets out of AdSeg, while Ruiz is left behind (along with Blanca, which sucks).

In the second episode, we met two new characters which include a CO and Piper’s new roommate who murdered her children, a fact that Piper learns while the roommate is playing with her hair. Yikes.

The best part about the episode was getting a glimpse into Cindy’s past, in which she had lots of underage sex and ended up pregnant. She never told her parents who the baby daddy was, and once she gave birth, she absolved herself of any responsibility towards the baby. Wonder where that baby is now?

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In the present, Cindy is under interrogation next and while she tries to lie her way out of being around the pool area when the riot ended, she ends up sort-of confessing and perhaps bringing Taystee in the process.

And remember that note at the beginning of the episode she tried to pass along to Taystee to warn her? Well, doesn’t seem like it’d be a good idea now–too bad, Frieda saw her drop the note.

Will Taystee now face severe punishment thanks to Cindy secretly cutting a deal behind her back?

Ugh, please don’t let that happen Orange Is The New Black–it would be too awful to bear.