Jaylee Hamidi talks real queer relationships and that "tough love" friend in How to Die Alone (Exclusive)

If you have not started watching How to Die Alone on Hulu yet, you need to right now. Jaylee Hamidi plays Allie in the series, and she is one of the most inspirational characters on TV right now. We chatted to Hamidi about the role and the importance of the character on screens right now.

How to Die Alone follows Mel (played by creator Natasha Rothwell), a broke Black JFK airport employee who has never been in love. When there’s an accidental brush with death, she realizes that she needs to take control of her live and start living it.

On that journey, she makes new friends, including Hamidi’s Allie. Sometimes, joint negative experiences can create a friendship that lasts forever, and that’s what we find between the two characters in this series.

Bringing comedy to a dark series in How to Die Alone

I did start by asking Hamidi what it’s like working on a series that is a comedy but has some difficult and dark topics at the heart of it. Sometimes, this can be fun to play, but there’s also a struggle with it.

"I think the show does a really great job of balancing comedy with drama. I think it’s one of those things that you really can’t have one without the other. How many times have we been at our lowest point while also laughing at how ridiculous it is?...It was such a gift to get to work on such a dynamic project."

When did Hamidi realize that this was the series for them? It didn’t take long at all.

"When I read the scripts…you see so much of yourself. It just felt very real and very natural, so I was very excited to play within the world that Natasha and the amazing writing team had set up."

Developing a friendship from negative experiences

Allie and Melissa meet each other at low points, especially for Melissa. Is that important for their friendship to develop? After all, they end up being close to best friends, and I think we all have that one person in our life who we’ve connected to because of something bad happening.

"Allie sees Melissa truly for all that she is. She doesn’t ignore her; she doesn’t alienate her as Melissa often feels in her everyday work life…When Allie just goes ‘I’m here. I want all of you.’ You’re like, ‘I’m here. I’ll be your safe space’…Who couldn’t ask for a better foundation?"

Allie certainly is a voice of reason. She is the “tough love” friend that we all need in our life. We don’t want them, but we need them. It helps to keep us grounded in reality, whether there’s something good or bad going on,

"There are so many times where your friends will give you advice and that’s not what [you] wanted to hear. ‘I wanted you to baby me and tell me I’m right,’ right?...I was like, okay, how would I respond to that?"

Hamidi went on to talk about how there is a beauty in the “tough love” friendship, and it’s something they relate to in her own life.

"I think that’s the beauty of a lot of my friendships and what I hope everyone can experience is that reciprocal equation of ‘I’m going to hear you and be here for you and give you that love and it might be tough’."

Figuring out one’s sexuality later in life in How to Die Alone

When we meet Allie, she has divorced her husband and is figuring out her own sexuality. This isn’t your usual “actually, I’m a lesbian” storyline. Hamidi has the chance to show pansexuality for what it really is on the screen, and this is so important to help understand how sexuality and gender are both fluid.

We also have this person who is figuring out her sexuality later in life. So many people hide in the closet until they’re adults, whether it’s because they’re ashamed or they simply don’t realize who they are. Allie is that character we can look at to help with the process.

"I think self-reflection, especially when it comes to one’s sexuality, is so integral to how one walks in the world. It is so scary to come out at any point in one’s life, but especially late on when you’ve set up these big cornerstones that then everyone just ascribes to you as well. Not only are you coming out for yourself, but you’re breaking down these identities that have been put upon you."

Of course, a lot of this is all in the writing. It’s about being real to the world around us, which is something that a lot of TV shows fail to do. The characters are there to tick boxes, but not in How to Die Alone.

"This queer character is not just a queer character to be a queer character. Just like a character of color just to be and fulfill this kind of quota. She’s this dynamic, multifaceted person who is just as messy and has gone through these messy things living her life and being that kind of rock."

For me, watching the show, I loved that it wasn’t your standard lesbian or bisexual character. Don’t get me wrong; I love seeing all forms of love on screen (when done right) but one type of sexuality we rarely see is pansexuality.

"As someone who is pansexual as well, there are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be pansexual. There’s ultimately a lot of these kinds of boxes that get put within sexualities and also gender and fluidity…It was very important and a really big dream for me to get to play somebody so wonderfully written and dynamic, and I’m so grateful to Natasha and the writing team for filling out a lot of what gets missed out in the nuances."

Check out the full interview with Jaylee Hamidi below and don’t forget to watch How to Die Alone on Hulu:

The first six episodes of How to Die Alone are now on Hulu with the final two airing Friday, Sept. 27.