Archer Danger Island review: Some Remarks on Cannibalism


The sacred Tapua and all these faulty maps are leading to tension and dissension amongst the ranks. Archer, Lana, and Cheryl are all leading groups looking for some moldy old statue legend.

When it slips to Lana that everyone, including Archer, is searching for the idol, Lana bans any taking of island resources and assembles a group to protect her people’s culture before it is stolen. The natives are tired of incursions and begin marching their own warpath.

Cheryl has mobilized her German soldiers to find the idol and get off the island. Lana is doing business with the Cyril, who think he still has some control. Archer and Pam are wandering around the jungle trails wearing nothing but coconuts. Finally, this season of Archer is getting weird.

Lana is trying to save the island and her people but has no leverage or bargaining chips besides the sacred Tapua idol. The island’s economy and resources are failing. In a deal with the devil, Lana goes all in with the German industrialist. Lana’s father, as a wise old sage, is suspect of the German’s intentions.

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Lana remains more stubborn than steadfast in her alliance. Though she lacks in information about the German Cyril’s motivations, Lana has faith. A pact with the Germans could help the island much like knowledge of art might have helped Lana keep that art gallery in business. Damned Great Depression.

Lana’s father has more faith in the power of Tapua. With any luck at all, the Germans will be long gone, defeated by the island’s terrain more than any attempts by Archer to stifle the Germans search. Lana should have insisted on being paid in advance. Lana’s dad can just shake his head at another art gallery mistake being relived by Lana.

Nonetheless, Lana on the warpath. She is the authority supporting the German. Malorie’s search party is lagging behind, thanks to an abundance of liquor weighing down the convoy. No one should expect her to go on an excursion of this magnitude without gin and vermouth though. Lana’s rich set of wheels was making a good time until the inevitable car crash with Malorie’s liquor loaded ride crippled the transportation efforts.

Crackers appears at the crash site and alerts Malorie and Cheryl to the dire situation at the quicksand pit. There was no need to wait until the last episode for the Lana and Archer collision. Right? Bird? Ok, maybe there is a reason. It is another island secret why this season of Archer is taking so long to develop. The catalyst for the biggest events this season is always just a bit further in the jungle.

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Cheryl and the German soldiers could be making progress except they are shooting monkeys for candy bars. Humping a coconut lotion jar must have gotten monotonous. No way there is any lotion left in the jar anyways.

Despite the inconveniences, there is no way to not make saving Archer and Pam a priority. At least then there would be some closure on if they found the idol or not. It may not be oysters, but if the posse’ makes a good time they might get a plate of some BBQ’d Pam. Her aperitif should act as a marinade for the cannibals.

Involuntarily eating Archer jerky in a life or death situation, like a plane crash to pick a random example that might happen this season, would be a given. Pam must survive, and she has a lot of muscle needed food fuel. Pam has an appetite especially when denied her aperitif. Voluntarily snacking on some young tender meat though is just curiosity, not cannibalism. Maybe the tribe has no plans for a Pam and Archer dinner feast.

The native did not eat Noah, they just had a nibble then locked him up. Noah has been living with the natives for four years. An anthropologist Noah studies society and cultures of human beings. Noah has not studied escape routes, nor entertained thoughts of escape. Cannot interfere with the local culture. Besides, he tastes like yard-bird, which is the worst type of bland without proper BBQ.

In dire straits, everyone is dwelling on what they would do differently if they make it off the island alive. Perhaps they could open a detective agency? If they make it out alive, which is a flimsy proposition.

Crackers is in the precarious spot because it looks like a ruse to Malorie that Archer and Pam are not in quicksand. While Crackers was finding help, the natives skewered them away. The Malorie and Cheryl group slowly put the pieces together. The all start to form a consensus with Lana consenting to join after a strong Shakespeare reference.

Back in the tribal village, Archer staggers into an impromptu plan to escape. Even a bamboo splinter in the ass is a less painful pain in the ass than a nagging and trapped Pam. Her goading of Archer brings about another passionate Archer rant. The silver lining though and what Pam should have taken from Archer’s speech is, Archer only wanted her to die happy.

Then though he would need a new sidekick. If all goes bad, it can be Crackers fault when Archer needs to assign blame for his failures. Besides, Pam is the best sidekick so Archer choose to cut her loose. Like the not really that hard dick pressed against Pam’s ass, everyone knows it is not that hard to know Pam is going to find a way and the team will make amends.

Pam can save Archer and escape but must find some primitive coverings for her lady parts. Out in the jungle is the worst place for involuntary reflexes to stimuli. Who couldn’t help being excited in this situation, especially with the Piña Colada ambiance.

In a haste, Noah informs Archer and Pam that the cannibal army has detected another army moving through the jungle. Pam lets it slip, again, that Archer and she are looking for the idol. Noah informs them that he can translate signs and other inconsequential things. Most importantly Noah can navigate around the poison traps and boulders. If Noah does not have to dress in coconut and fig leaves, he is willing to help and escape.

While on the hunt for Archer, Malorie and Cheryl find a mountain of skulls. While they fear the worst, Archer and Pam are escaping the camp.  On the Western Front, the Germans are caught with their pants down. Archer’s coconut throw was off the mark but in killing a German soldier he made a new friend. The native cannibal tribe is now going to help Archer conquer the island. Then they can throw a celebratory feast. The natives go so far as to even invite Noah. Pam only wants a drumstick.

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As Archer and Pam forge a tighter alliance with the cannibal tribe, fans of the show have had one thing reaffirmed. Never tell any of these characters anything remotely embarrassing in confidence; they will burn you like a Dutch Master cigar. That embarrassing statement made in confidence will come up in conversation at the most inopportune time.  Usually, it is on Wednesday at 9 PM EST on FX.