Succession countdown: 15 best season 1 quotes

Season 1 of HBO’s Succession offered many funny or captivating quotes, showcasing the dysfunctional nature of family and business. Here are 15 of the best ones!

"15. “Do I go Hulk, or Bruce Banner?” — Kendall Roy"

One of the funniest lines from “Lifeboats” (episode 3) comes from Kendall Roy (Jeremy Strong), pondering aloud how he should approach a business matter. It is a playful moment, yet it hints at his insecurity in a “cut-throat” business environment. Much of the season is the clash between being fair, just and reasonable and being at the top. This quote pretty much nails that discrepancy.

"14. “Do you want me to call your dad?” — Kendall Roy"

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This is one of the funniest moments in the premiere episode, Celebration. It is how Kendall responds when someone snidely asks if he wants to call his dad to help him out.

Kendall understandably gets angry about it, and you can sense the animosity in his response. By this point, you pretty much know the dynamics of the show, but they don’t always stay so subtle.

"13. “Drool, antisemitism,…[a] string of silk handkerchiefs tied together.” — Kendall Roy"

This is Kendall’s way of elaborating to Gerri (J. Smith-Cameron) that anything could come out of his father Logan’s mouth during his big speech. Logan (Brian Cox) represents a bygone era to his kids, and they are all clamoring to take charge when (and if) he dies. This quote from episode 4, “Sad Sack Wasp Trap” is simply funny.

"12. “I am interested in becoming a meth head.” — Kendall Roy"

I’m sure you’re noticing the pattern: Kendall Roy this, Kendall Roy that. Nevertheless, most of the great quotes from Succession come from this character’s mouth. “Austerlitz,” episode 7 of Succession surely has other gems, but this one really hits home about these characters.

Here there’s a sense that Kendall’s close to rock bottom, yet his business-like demeanor is bleeding over into his addiction problem. The impression is that, when you’re playing games in big business, you need something to distract you from what you’re doing. Drugs are certainly one method of doing that, although they destroy a significant number of lives.

Still, the idea here is that, as far as Kendall’s concerned, his life is as good as destroyed already.

"11. “If I eat any more songbirds I’m going to hurl.” — Greg Hirsch"

There have to be a few non-Kendall quotes, right? Well, here’s a great one from Greg Hirsch (Nicholas Braun), spoken during his depraved Ortolan-eating session with Tom Wamsgans (Matthew Macfadyen).

While eating the endangered birds, Tom puts a cover over his head, saying it is either to mask the shame or heighten the pleasure. I’m assuming it has more to do with shame. Succession is indeed brimming with shame, and episode 6, “Which Side Are You On?,” playfully (and painfully) explores these depths.

"10. “I like hurting human beings as much as the next guy, but this is really ****ing good.” — Roman Roy"

Roman Roy (Kieran Culkin) may not be a nice guy, but this is a great moment where even he would prefer being the good guy. Still, Logan — dear old despot dad — finds it suspicious if someone leaves a business deal smiling.

Taken from episode 8 (“Prague”), the quote emphasizes how, at least sometimes, being good is simply practical.

"9. “I’m the ***hole who can be your Warhol.” — Kendall Roy"

In “Prague,” Succession‘s 8th episode, Kendall has a meeting about a prospective “platform for marginalized artists.” Sensing he’s in trouble due to his “un-hip” business background, Kendall suggests he’s not like his father or anyone else we’ve prominently seen in Succession.

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"8. “Sad Sack WASP Trap.” — The Roy family"

This nickname for a charity ball stems from the Roy family’s view that receivers of charity are “sad sacks” — inept, blundering people — whose plight is used to attract money from White Anglo-Saxon Protestants (WASPs).

It’s a playful way to show how corporate America really feels about the poor, and the title of the episode. Its brutal honesty is similar to when someone calls politician Gil Eavis (Eric Bogosian) a “sword of the dispossessed and lover of vintage champagne.”

"7. “The socio-economic health of multiple continents is dependent on his well-being!” — Kendall Roy"

This episode 2 quote is regarding the Roy family’s father, who they believe may be on his way out. It implies, of course, that the Roys are a very big deal, and deserving of special attention.

Of course, none of the Roys see anything wrong about this. They obviously deserve everything they have, no matter how they may have acquired it.

"6. “Tasty morsels from groovy hubs.” — Kendall Roy"

What can I say? This simple Kendall quote from ‘Which Side Are You On?’ is one of the best of the whole season, regardless of context. It’s just such an abnormal and obnoxious mixture of words, suggesting that Kendall tries to be really cool but never quite gets there.

It does bring up the question: Can business meetings, CEOs, wealthy heirs and the like ever truly be cool? Not that I’m particularly cool myself. I’m just sayin’…

"5. “The dinosaur is having one last roar at the meteor before it wipes him out.” — Kendall Roy"

This episode 4 quote is how Kendall describes his father returning to work. It was really tough not placing this higher on the list. Still, some quotes technically better encapsulate the season.

"4. “Why shouldn’t we do all the news?” — Logan Roy"

Asked by Logan during a business meeting, this episode 5 question leads Roman Roy to call him “Kim Jong-Pop.” Unfortunately, we’re that close to a world where one man can ask this question and potentially make it happen.

Seriously, in your spare time, go ahead and look at just how corporate and conglomerated the media is. One hardly needs to be a raving, leftist lunatic to get a little suspicious of the news, especially as it’s more and more geared towards celebrity scandals, reality TV and over-hyped social media.

"3. “What have you had your entire life that I didn’t give you?” — Logan Roy"

Another great Logan Roy quote. This is his stinging reply when Kendall tells him, “I don’t owe you anything.” It appears in the season finale, ‘Nobody Is Ever Missing,’ and it hits hard.

"2. “Wherever you hide, the party finds you.” — Greg Hirsch"

Spoken at a party he doesn’t like, this is easily a candidate for best line of the entire season. In fact, it’ll probably be a contender for future seasons.

While it arguably stems from Greg being coked out of his mind, it’s plausible his character would feel this way anyway. Maybe the coke just made him state his opinion openly, and honestly. Whatever the case, it sounds like the tagline to a horror movie, which wins it bonus points.

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"1. “Yum yum, blood! Shirts off sh**!” — Roman Roy"

Taken from Succession’s 3rd episode, “Lifeboats,” this weird quote happens after business consultant Gerri mentions layoffs. The “shirts off” comment refer to Roman’s idea of loosening up — removing one’s shirt — and getting primal.

The “Yum yum, blood!” aspect refers to a shark-like attraction to hardship and woe. You know, when there’s blood in the water, the sharks come a-swimmin’.

What is your favorite Succession quote? Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!

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