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Insatiable season 1, episode 5 recap: ‘Bikinis and Bitches’

By Ariba Bhuvad

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Insatiable tackles a hack on Patty’s phone while Armstrong deals with Coralee leaving–and introduces a strange new character.

Insatiable hasn’t changed its odd momentum even five episodes in, but it has its moments–sometimes. When the entire school gets nudes of Dixie on their phone, the source is traced back to Patty’s phone. However, she isn’t the one that sent out the pictures, so whodunnit? This incident gets Patty disqualified from Miss Magic Jesus due to cyberbullying.

Coralee leaving Armstrong seemed like a fairly boring plot point, but nonetheless, it happened after Patty outed his affair with Stella Rose years ago. Coralee leaves a note for Armstrong saying she needs time to think, and when he confronts Patty, she confessed she just wanted to hurt Coralee, and not him. This girl is all sorts of crazy, isn’t she?

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Armstrong gets a new client named Christian, who is quite the oddball, and a bit scary if you ask us. He is the son of the pastor and gets busted for drugs, however, his mother wants Armstrong to lose the case on purpose so Christian can learn his lesson. Are we sure there isn’t a different way?

We learn that Coralee sent Christian and his mother to Armstrong to fight the case, and if he didn’t help them, it would result in consequences for their marriage. Not entirely sure if this is a valid threat, but we’ll roll with it.

In order to get Patty her Miss Magic Jesus title back, Magnolia helps her organize a bikini dog wash (yup, they went there). This only messes with Patty’s head because she is not comfortable with her body image still, and she has a breakdown as a result. This is a jarring moment in the episode because you can see that Insatiable that is trying to tap into an important topic here, but they don’t execute it properly.

Credit: Netflix

We’re sort of lost in the moment because there is a lot of other dialogue and background noise, and it just doesn’t play out like it may have been intended to be. We learn that Regina and Dixie are behind hacking Patty’s phone (of course), but Armstrong handles that fairly quickly in a manner that literally makes no sense, and is not even worth mentioning.

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Unfortunately, the bikini dog wash is a hot mess and fails when Dixie mixes in bacon fat into the tanning oil and causes the dogs to start acting out. And since all the girls ran away, Brick comes to the rescue by bringing his drag queen friends. It really feels like they’re trying to be inclusive in this scene, but again, it just doesn’t fall right. It’s almost like they’re trying too hard.

Oh, and Brick picked that moment to lock lips with Patty, with Nonnie and Magnolia watching.

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