Insatiable season 1, episode 12 finale recap: ‘Why Bad Things Happen’


Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the train wreck disaster that was the season 1 finale of Insatiable.

Insatiable promos raised quite the controversy, and when the season began we hoped that the trailers were just inaccurate in how they were presented, and the series would surely change our minds. Nope. Just nope.

Every episode of the season was offensive, dangerous, and not anything like a satire. You simply shouldn’t make light of some the issues Insatiable talked about, and if you do, do it in a way that isn’t potentially harmful to those that suffer from the issues the show touched on.

When the season 1 finale begins, Patty comes to and realizes that Stella Rose and Roxy have kidnapped her. Stella Rose is seeking revenge against Armstrong, and Roxy is going along with it because she believes that Stella Rose put her up for adoption out of sadness.

Credit: Netflix

Patty gets out and makes a run for it while Stella Rose tells the random hunters outside the truck that Patty is mentally ill. Patty doesn’t make it very far before Roxy catches up to her and takes her right back. Meanwhile, Nonnie, Brick, and Donald are looking for her and assume she ran away with the truck so she could eat everything inside.

And if things aren’t stressful enough, we learn that Christian planted a tracking device in the bracelet he had left for Patty, but Regina winds up with it instead. And then he proceeds to kidnap Magnolia after she comes to him looking for drugs. He convinces here to register for the pageant but really he is using her as leverage to get Patty back. Seriously, what is going on?

And as much as it pains us to talk about it we must reflect back on the “thruple”. Yes, thruple. After having a brief romantic encounter in the last episode, Coralee and the Bobs try to have a go at hooking up, which Armstrong is really eager to make happen because it gives him the best of both worlds. But it all just feels so…weird.

Despite the three hooking up together, Coralee and Barnard only want to be intimate with Armstrong, and not engage in this thruple situation forever. So, now what? Meanwhile, Stella Rose is pissed off because Armstrong doesn’t care what she’s plotting so she decides that killing Patty is the best way to go and she’ll stage it to look like a suicide with a note and all.

Insatiable season 1, episode 11 recap: ‘Winners Win. Period.’. light. Hot

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There is one moment during this episode where suddenly the series sort of makes sense, and we can see what the writers might have been thinking. While Stella leaves Patty behind with food and telling her she will never be anything but Fatty Patty, Patty has an epiphany.

This involves her realizing that she has been ridiculed for her weight all her life, and she’s had enough. Perhaps this was the point the series writers were trying to make all along. The constant torture and ridicule inflicted on her shaped her into the person she became because society is obsessed with personal image. Hmm, interesting thought, right?

And while for a brief moment in time, Insatiable almost makes sense it rears its head and finishes off the finale in the most ridiculous of ways. Patty does end up escaping, and her first stop is signing up for Regionals. She gets a text from Magnolia saying she has something that could help her win, but it isn’t Magnolia sending the text–it’s Christian trying to lure Patty to him.

When she learns what has happened, she realizes that Christian has a sick plan of his own. They kill Magnolia and then Patty will eliminate the competition she has. Well, things take a very dark turn when Patty ends up hitting Christian on the head with a tire iron. She lets Magnolia go but then continues to hit Christian into a bloody pulp.

Completely distraught and flustered, Patty calls Armstrong for help after she murders Christian, but at that very moment, Armstrong is contemplating suicide because he can’t decide between Coralee and Barnard. And once again, Patty ends up saving Armstrong who shows up to help her.

She can’t exactly claim self-defense seeing as how she hit Christian over 30 times so the two decide to push Christian’s car into the lake. Because in the history of all murders, people actually get away with that.

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The car doesn’t exactly go in all the way to which Armstrong yells out in frustration as Patty reveals that she may have killed Stella Rose as well. And then the episode ends. Just like that, the season ends on not-a-cliff-hanger and leaves more annoyed than we already were.

Insatiable has been such a hot mess, and the amount of unhealthy, misguided lessons it had in there were frightening. Here’s to hoping the series does not get a second season because we don’t want to know where it could possibly go from here.