House of Cards series finale recap: Chapter 73

It’s time to say goodbye to House of Cards. Was it a fitting end for the popular Netflix series?

I’m going to try my best to leave my opinion out of this final House of Cards recap. I’m sure you can tell by my last few articles that my patience with this season grew thinner and thinner. So, look out for my review of Season 6 soon.

The episode opens with Doug lying peacefully on a sofa. Remember that for later.

“What would Frank do given that she’s carrying his child?”

The credits play, the last time I will ever watch them. I ponder, is Doug grappling with whether or not to kill Claire? Is he wondering if Frank would even care that she’s carrying his child? Does Doug really believe that she’s carrying his child?

Claire, now acting as her own Press Secretary, (because, why not?) outs Frank as messing with the election results to make him President during the last election. Doesn’t that call her own presidency into question since she technically wasn’t elected either?

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It turns out Doug is lying on his old couch in his old Chief of Staff office. He’s growing nostalgic in his spiraling state. You just know he doesn’t give AF anymore. I’m excited at the prospect of him just going down guns-a-blazin’.

During the press conference, Janine’s article entitled, “Former President Underwood excluded his wife from his will” hits the web. Of course, a reporter asks Claire to comment. When she refuses, the reporter drops this info nugget: Doug Stamper is her source. She essentially calls him crazy and moves along with her day.

Is this all part of Claire’s master plan? Are Doug and Claire working together or against each other? I can’t keep it straight anymore.

Doug seems pissed when the press bombards him about the article. Again, his blind loyalty to Frank is clear. He’s not crazy. He was with Frank when he died, and the former President didn’t think Claire could handle the presidency. Oh, and Frank kept an audio diary.

As Annette and Mark watch these new developments on cable news, he wants to talk about their relationship. ::yawn: What does this even have to do with the story? This is the last episode ever! Stop wasting valuable time to close actual plotlines!

Doug meets with Janine again and reads aloud Frank’s diary for her article. He tries to kiss her, which is weird and again, serves no purpose to the plot.

I’m going to wrap up Bill’s storyline up with one sentence. He’s sick, sitting on a porch, talking nonsense to Mark, and then a nurse.

Claire meets Walter (Was he ever on this show before now?) in the hidden spiral staircase room, and he wants to know how she murdered Frank. She never admits to it, so we still don’t know how he really died.

Next thing we know, Claire decides to make up a nuclear threat to distract from the plot against her life. And when her advisors and cabinet members advise her against this ridiculous plan, she accuses them of being sexist. I can’t roll my eyes any harder. Throughout this last season, Claire Underwood has set feminism back about 30 paces.

Seth tells Doug over some ribs that the whole country is counting on him. So, I’m guessing the Shepherds assume Doug is going to kill Claire. But Doug is still playing the middle, calls Claire saying all she has to do is drop the investigation against Frank. He starts to play the Frank tapes, and she hangs up on him.

These tapes better play out to a point.

In a private conversation, Petrov warns Claire against using the atom bomb. We are ass-backward when he is a voice of reason in this show. Later in the Situation Room, Petrov calls Claire to the carpet. He’s willing to expose her because he knows the “things you’ve done.” Her response? She’s gonna blow some country to kingdom come if she doesn’t find out who’s trying to kill her.

I’m sorry, but would the people in that room let something like that happen? She can’t just push a button, right? When did this become a horror show?

Doug then sends Claire a little gift: a letter opener and the Frank Diaries. She listens for a few seconds but spazzes out, yanking out the headphones then her wedding ring. The robot is finally shaken. So, she has everyone cleared out of the White House except for essential staff.

I think to myself, “Yes this is the beginning of her end.” I can’t believe I’m rooting against her!

In Janine’s last scene, as she clutches Rachel’s burial coordinates in her hand, she vows to take down the Underwoods and Shepherds. I covered my eyes because I was convinced she would be killed somehow, but she survives! Yay!

We’ve finally reached the end, in the Oval Office.

With all non-essentials cleared of the White House, somehow Doug gets in. Wouldn’t he have been left off the visitor’s list because of his articles? Whatever, he’s there now.

He tosses an envelope of names to Claire with everyone trying to kill her. So, I guess they are working together. He even suggests naming the baby Frances, that’s with an “e.” Annoyed, she points out the fact that Doug isn’t mentioned on Frank’s recordings. (I think she couldn’t listen to them.) And then we learn that Doug killed Frank!

Wait, what?

Is this like an obsessive stalker situation? He killed the person he was obsessed with?

It turns out, in Doug’s opinion, Frank had shown up to the White House that night to kill Claire, and that would have destroyed everything they had worked for. So, that’s why he killed him. We have a lot of logical people in the Oval right now.

He wants Claire to clear Frank’s name; I guess because if she doesn’t him killing Frank would have been for nothing. And then it clicks, that’s why he couldn’t let it go. He felt extreme guilt. And if Frank’s legacy is destroyed, then Frank died for no reason.

I mean Doug did take out a dangerous man from this earth, but who is he to be judge and jury? God, all these people are all crazy.

When Claire doesn’t give in, he grabs her by the neck and stabs her just below her jawline with the letter opener. When he chickens out of killing her, Claire takes it and stabs him right in the gut. She holds him while he bleeds out in her arms.

And that’s the end.

Yeah. I have a lot of thoughts about the House of Cards, so look out for my review/reaction tomorrow.

But for now, read the recap for House of Cards Season 6, Episode 7.

Watch House of Cards anytime.