This is Us season 3, episode 17 recap: R & B

This is Us explores over 20 years of Randall and Beth’s relationship. Are they doomed or can they come back from their recent troubles?

Last week’s This is Us tied up “R & B” perfectly; as Randall shut the door, we were let in on one of the most intimate and vulnerable situations in marriage: a life-changing, blow-out fight.

In the end, a couple could be closer than ever or moved further apart. For Randall and Beth, it’s the latter.

This isn’t something that has been simmering for the last few months, and for fans, this past season. Beth points out that this fight they’re having is the same fight they’ve been having their entire relationship.

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The first date

With the help of Kevin (over the phone), Randall asks Beth out on a date. Dressed in a suit jacket and tie, he takes her to a fancy restaurant. Her hoodie doesn’t exactly fit in. He ends up spilling a little too much about himself – about him being adopted by a white family and his dad dying – and she gets a little spooked. But the final nail in the coffin occurred when the waiter tried to make them pay for the meals before they ordered. Beth was beside herself when Randall pulled out his checkbook.

She snatches the check and storms out, not before telling Randall just how much he is. “You’re too much.” She would have rather had a date at a crappy hole in the wall eating nachos and drinking ginger beer.

Later, Randall tells his roommate that the date went so well, that he is sure he’s going to marry her. She finds Randall’s check in her pocket and smiles.

The million proposals

After a rousing rendition of Jagged Edge’s “Let’s Get Marries” (remix), Randall proposes. Beth doesn’t seem surprised, or even weepy-eyed. It turns out, he’s asked her quite a few times. She keeps turning him down because she’s not ready to get married.

Later at mini golf, Rebecca lets it slip that she knows about the million proposals and it causes a fight between them. She tells Beth about how when Randall was young, he has a panic attack about not knowing where he fits in the world. But when he met Beth, he told Rebecca that he now knew where he fit.

That sealed it for Beth. Over her favorite meal (nachos and ginger beer) he proposed for the last time and she accepted.

The wedding

Randall and Beth decide to get married in the backyard of the humongous new house. Beth didn’t finish writing her vows, while Randall wrote a dissertation about marriage.

They decided to write their vows together, back-to-back. It was really cute, but the biggest thing they promised lost in each other. That’s important, so remember that for later.

The first baby

Baby Tess needs a diaper change at 4 am. In the morning. Randall offers to make her favorite: nachos. They talk about how Beth will be going back to work, but she doesn’t want to leave the baby at the same time. He reassures her that they will make it work, this as Randall chomps away on the cheesy chips he made his wife.

She explains an amazing Nacho theory, that there are crumbs, chipped ones, and the whole nacho. Randall is the whole nacho kind of person, meaning he takes it all but leaves Beth the crumbs. Because Beth will be the one that has to cut back her hours at work so that Randall can keep working “72 hours” a week.

The night away

Beth lets Randall know that she has a conference in Hershey, but he’s preoccupied with William (YAY!!) and Kevin, both living in their house.

When Randall and William stop by a grocery store, they find Beth, holding a basket with wine and candy. She decided to book a hotel room for the night because she needed 24 hours to herself. Randall seems hurt, asking why she hasn’t asked to it before.

“I have asked!” she replies desperately, exacerbated. But apparently, it became “all about Randall” and how he was feeling.

She ultimately goes home, foregoing her big king bed and Living Single reruns.

Back to their fight

It seems as though Beth has been stifled by Randall their entire 20-year relationship.

“I’m not going to bend, and that’s the problem. Our lives don’t work unless I’m doing the bending.”

I don’t think Randall knew he was even doing it. And in his mind, Beth is reimagining their entire history. And the Beth delivers a pretty low blow, calling out his two anxiety attacks. He ends up on his cot in Philly anyway, and Beth sleeps on the chase lounge next to their bed.

I’m not going to pretend I know the inner working of marriage because I’m as single as they come. I’m also not a counselor and have no idea how to fix their problems.

As a fan, I want Beth to keep teaching dance and I want Randall to quit his council seat.
Next week is the This is Us season finale where I hope Randall and Beth can find a way to work things out.

Read last week’s This is Us recap.

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