Brooklyn Nine-Nine Heist Pregame: Who will win Cinco de Mayo?

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine-Hitchcock and Scully-Courtesy of Vivian Zink/NBC

5. Hitchcock and Scully

This is the obvious choice. Cinco de Mayo is a holiday that celebrates the victory of the Mexican Army over the French Army in 1862. In the United States, the holiday is wildly appropriated as Mexican Independence Day and used as an excuse to be day drunk on sidewalks.

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Hitchcock (Dirk Blocker) and Scully (Joel McKinnon Miller) were stud detectives in the saxophone soundtrack days of the 1980s. They successfully hid a mob informer from death by making her the proprietor of Wing Sluts. Since then, they wildly appropriate the concept of being shoddy police detectives and use it to avoid almost all work. No. None of that makes any sense. But this is Flat Top and the Mad Man, folks. That’s just how the wing sauce marinates.

Also, you know, it’s two old white dudes living their best, woefully oblivious lives. Yeah. That’s a strong reason, right there. For real. Plus, don’t count out the bait and switch factor. Another person or team could use Hitchcock and Scully as a decoy only to be back-stabbed by the dynamic duo. Deep down, we all root for them. Right? Right?!

The bottom line is: don’t count the boys out. They may not even know they’re playing, but they have a good shot to win.