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Brockmire’s ‘Retirement Ceremony’

By Christopher Dodson

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When Brockmire crashed Charles’ family birthday dinner, he revealed more about his upbringing than ever before. The latest episode, “Retirement Ceremony”, revolved around the funeral for Jim Brockmire Sr. The resulting family gets together to shed more light onto all the reasons he carries his burdens as he does.

Brockmire takes a look at how death, and the resulting funeral, is a time for grieving and coming to terms with all that passed. It is the ultimate Retirement Ceremony. There are no comebacks. No waffling on a retirement with “maybe I’ll come back next season” statements. Once the great scorer in the sky makes that mark against your name, well, you lost. Hope you played a decent game, or at least talked like you could.

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Jim Brockmire Sr. was a flawed man. We all are. The Brockmire’s just passed their burdens onto the next generation in strange ways. Well, drink by lonesome, miserable drink is not that original. But the tiki time themed garage, that was special. Unlike he rum hidden in the truck. Sugar liquor is for children and rots a man to his core to the point of being unrecognizable to one’s children.

That is but one complication to distract one from enjoying life. Another is dwelling on a past that can never be revisited, changed, or therapy-ed away, alcohol or otherwise. Once an imposing figure like Brockmire Sr passes, it is best to let bygone be and to move on. It shows a level of maturity to family.

Past cannot hurt you is you do not let it. However, Brockmire the Broadcaster has held on to his grudges like a binder full of eulogies. The grudges have been present since episode one, the eulogy-r-us starter kit was introduced just this week.

He even has one for Charles, who is sure Brockmire will be the death of him. Charles finds the words on the page beautiful, but the Brockmire at the other end of the table offers only his sincerest apologies. Actions speak louder than words for him, except that does not play well on the radio. In life, Charles and others must learn to appreciate the small ways Brockmire shows he cares. His family is to far gone done to ever see the good side.

Brockmire’s family didn’t think Jim would show for dads funeral. However, they family still underestimates his eternal need to make a day about himself. Brockmire sent all those tickets, autographs, and cash for bail. When he was down, Brockmire feels he had no family support. Perhaps there would have been a helping hand if Brockmire could remember the names of family members. Once that information is gathered, Brockmire might find the family was going through issues too.

Sister Gene has lost feeling in her vagina, as a lesbian in the Ozark backwoods. Papa Brockmire grew even more sinister as his health declined. Brockmire’s public airing of grievances brought a cloud of shame over the family. Life is easier for the children as Glasscock’s than it was as Brockmire’s.  And all the while, he felt aggrieved for leaving. Well he did until his sister twisted the coldest dagger, chiding Brockmire for crying about problems on the microphone.

Gene Brockmire, has been sober for ten years. She keeps a dry house, to her knowledge. She prefers women, but in the Ozarks has settled for a quiet, unassuming man. The type of man who only says something when he has something to say. The rest of the family welcomes him with cold silence and a middle finger.

With all of the pleasantries over with, he retreats to the garage, just as his dad did. Again with the rum, such a juvenile and unsophisticated drunk was Brockmire Sr. Rum is alcoholic though, and in this death situation, it works as a pinch hitter.

To make matters worse, Raj is doing outstanding calling the game. It could not get any worse unless…yup, Lucy is walking down the driveway. No matter what the family thinks, Lucy is there for him. Really, she only knew to come because she had a notification for Jim Brockmire dead.

He feels bad she traveled all this way and attempts some condolences. It was working fine until Lucy point out Jim proved his would not do the same for Lucy, twice. Her parents both died. Brockmire liked them and did not mean to hurt them. They did finally come around, thanks in part to Brockmire, maybe.

Brockmire has a half hour tome to honor his father, but no one wants him to speak. Gene ordered the preacher and a funeral because that is what is done, but she wants to get to Fuddruckers. With Brockmire insisting, she delivers dad’s final letter to Brockmire. Jim is told that it is he who taught papa Brockmire that it was possible to hate a child. And that was just the sweetener before the rough stuff.

Where he is loving and kind to the dead, the Senior Brockmire is even worse a man in the afterlife than he was while alive. Kind words are hard to come by, though there may be some written in a binder somewhere. The preacher is no Brockmire.

Born many years ago, and an employee, Jim Brockmire Sr enjoyed the daily things. These are the nicest parting words the preacher can honestly say about Brockmire Sr. in a house of god. Brockmire sends the preacher to the showers, for he must be brusquely honest about the man whom lies in the casket before him.

There are no positive memories. He was just an angry man who lurked around the house tormenting children when not ignoring them. He was the drunk who forgot to feed his children. Being reminded of his obligations was another annoyance.  Once when tiki time was interrupted, dad went berserk. He scorched his kids with fish sticks to the point of Jim Jr. passing out and needing an emergency room visit to tend the wounds.

Brockmire will likely never get over his past. He feels remorse and guilt for leaving his sister behind. No one changes in the past. No one stuck dwelling on the past matures or becomes something better.

Living in the past is the quickest way to death. It kills what ever part of a man who is capable of living before the body truly gives way to Father Time. With his time gone, he departs the pulpit. With one step towards the rest of his life, Brockmire produced a flask from his jacket. He drank like a man thirsty for a reprieve, looking for a pardon for the time wasted dwelling on wasted time.

This awful feeling is encumbering. Even a weirdly comforting hug from Lucy is not enough to break the spell of his looming depression. Sex with Lucy would not be possible.

Life can’t stop the pain. The best one can do is limit it a little bit, but not to the point of limiting life’s experiences. No one want to walk around life carrying baggage like  glass dildo named Harry Glasscock. Battle wounds fighting though those problems leaves scars that are all too evident to those that know us best.

Next: Brockmire throws his 'Knuckleball' in this week's episode

Brockmire’s alcoholism is his battle wounds. Everything passed that first sip is collateral damage. Everything thing that leads to the first sip is the past.  The booze just enhances his narrative on why it is important to live, while helping to kill the pain that comes with life. This episode enhanced fans understanding behind Brockmire’s destructive forays.

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